Flourishing

“Resilience is all about being able to overcome the unexpected. Sustainability is about survival. The goal of resilience is to thrive.” – Jamais Cascio

In a meeting this week, a colleague/friend introduced herself to the group and said she was in the business of “human flourishing.” It was so inspirational and aspirational, I wrote it down as a prompt. It has stuck with me as a lot of seismic changes and shifts are unfolding professionally, in society and the world. What if we were all in the business of “human flourishing,” starting with ourselves first and then moving outward from that center?

Positive psychologist and professor Dr. Lynn Soots (n.d.) describes flourishing as the following:

“Flourishing is the product of the pursuit and engagement of an authentic life that brings inner joy and happiness through meeting goals, being connected with life passions, and relishing in accomplishments through the peaks and valleys of life.”

In an article on PositivePsychology.com, Courtney E. Ackerman offers components and practical tips on how to move toward flourishing. “Most psychologists agree that flourishing encompasses well-being, happiness, and life satisfaction; however, even these components of flourishing have their own subcomponents, including:

• Meaning

• Purpose

• Autonomy

• Self-acceptance

• Optimism

• Positive relationships

• Mastery

• Self-determination

• Resilience

• Personal growth

• Vitality

• Engagement

• Self-esteem (VanderWeele, 2017)

The idea of measuring flourishing becomes more unwieldy with each addition to the list—and we’re not done yet!”

Research shows that the impact of flourishing includes:

• Fewer missed days of works

• Fewer half-days and work cutbacks

• Lower helplessness

• More clear life goals

• Higher resilience

• Higher intimacy

• Lower risk of cardiovascular disease

• Lower number of chronic physical diseases with age

• Fewer health limitations of daily living activities

• Lower health care utilization (Keyes, 2007)

To improve your chances of flourishing, she offers the following suggestions:

1. Expand and enhance your social support system-make new friends and deepen relationships. This is harder and more important as we approach our one-year anniversary of “pandemic living.” Reach out – call, text, email and don’t stop;

2. Experience the good in life with fun, meaningful events. Establish goals and measurements for progress;

3. Schedule “fun” into each day. This will be the most important daily activity that you can add to your calendar;

4. Pursue purpose and meaning, followed by specific actions to achieve them.

There are five key qualities to achieve flourishing:

1. Attention: Enhance your ability to direct and re-direct your attention. A morning meditation practice can do wonders to tone your attention muscles and set the course for the day. Mindfulness creates the space needed for reflection, perspective and self-awareness;

2. Time Management: Choose carefully where you invest your finite valuable time. Say “no” more so you can say “yes” to the right things;

3. Continuous Improvement: Commit to growth by staying open, seeking knowledge and insight followed by application;

4. Active Listening: Give others and yourself undivided attention, listening rather than passive hearing. Commit to communicate honestly, empathetically, respectfully and openly;

5. Positive Experiences: – pursue, seek positive experiences daily. You find what you are looking for so search for the positive rather than default to the negative. Suddenly, you will find joy in plain sight.

If your 2021 resolutions are falling flat and your short on motivation, take a step back. Reassess and recommit to daily activities that move you in the direction of flourishing, a worthy lifelong pursuit.

“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.” – Maya Angelou

Black Holes

This week, NASA announced that their planet-hunting Transiting Exoplanet Survey Satellite (TESS) captured a black hole tear apart a star in a cataclysmic phenomenon called a tidal disruption event.

As I watched in awe, I thought about all of the “black holes” in our lives that we allow to snuff out and consume our light. Black holes like regrets, grudges, “rules”, old stories that we still believe, lack of confidence, fear, clinging to the past, assumptions and judgments about ourselves and others.

It we don’t let these things go, they don’t let us go and grow. We remain comfortably captive to them. While we may be justified in our feelings, we can choose to rise above them and live fully, letting our bright light shine.

Holocaust survivor and psychiatrist Viktor E. Frankl’s quote sums it up the best, “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms - to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.” If anyone had the absolute right to be angry, bitter and broken, it certainly was Dr. Frankl. Our daily burdens pale in comparison.

New research was just released this week on the health benefits of optimism. “Thought patterns and mindsets are the most intimate parts of our experience,” said Dr. Alan Rozanski, lead author of a meta-analysis on optimism that was published Friday in the journal JAMA Network Open. "We have known for a few decades now that there's a relationship between psychological factors and heart disease.”

Optimism not only changes your perspective, it also helps your heart, literally. Think about all of those “black holes” and dare to consume them with your light.

6 Ways to Train Your Brain to Be More Optimistic

1.       Try on a positive lens – the glass is not only half full, it’s overflowing!;

2.       Be aware of who you surround yourself with – it’s easy to fall into the “misery loves company” trap;

3.       Turn off the news – especially pertinent now with the political season in full swing (although it’s always in full swing);

4.       Write in a journal a few minutes a day – gratitude can do wonders for your perspective. I just downloaded an awesome new app – 5 Minute Journal which is a simple and “doable” way to put your intentions into daily action;

5.       Acknowledge what you can and can’t control – the Serenity Prayer sums that one up the best;

6.       Acknowledge the negative – there are difficulties in life to be sure and shouldn’t be denied, but we can choose how we respond;

7.       BONUS – lighten up and laugh more.

You have a choice to not allow the “black holes” that surround you to consume you. Choose carefully for it determines the quality of your life. Now go consume some black holes with your light.

“Everyone has his own specific vocation or mission in life; everyone must carry out a concrete assignment that demands fulfillment. Therein he cannot be replaced, nor can his life be repeated, thus, everyone's task is unique as his specific opportunity to implement it.” – Viktor E. Frankl