“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.” – Anais Nin
Our perceptions create our reality. What we think, how we interpret, what we define to be true, often based on few facts and misguided assumptions, stop us from trying, changing, moving forward and growing. We believe that annoying critic in our head that keeps repeating “I’m not worthy”, “I’m not good enough”, “I’m an imposter,” “I don’t deserve it” and my favorite, “I don’t have enough time.”
Our thoughts move to words to actions and too often to inaction. “Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your words. Keep your words positive because your words become your behavior. Keep your behavior positive because your behavior becomes your habits. Keep your habits positive because your habits become your values. Keep your values positive because your values become your destiny.” – Mahatma Gandhi
When we trap ourselves into a vise grip of our own thoughts, based on old stories, negative outside influences and experiences that we’ve internalized, they turn into limiting beliefs. By identifying our limiting beliefs, we can separate from them, challenge their validity and take action to create a new reality based on possibility rather than reruns of the past.
By loosening the vise grip, we see abundance rather than scarcity, fresh ideas rather than stale excuses. When we change our false narratives, ignore external expectations, we suddenly shift our time, energy and attention to pursuing what we are meant to do – our purpose for being. Rather than running from the dark, we run to the light.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” ― Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of "A Course in Miracles
Once we identify our limiting beliefs and triggers that make our world small, we can replace them with edifying thoughts and daily actions that build on our skills and talents. Optimism, focus and rigor fuel new beginnings, new seeds that transform our days, propelling us into the future rather than being dragged there, clinging tightly to the past. And when those limiting beliefs and negative thoughts return, replace them immediately with a positive ones that expand rather than contract your perspective and outlook.
Let’s start with the “I don’t have time” limiting belief by “doing the math.” If you are sleeping 8 hours a night (you should be for your own health) that leaves 16 hours of time. Assume you put in 9 hours of work (if you are doing more regularly - STOP – say no, leave work at work, look for another job). That leaves 7 hours per day? What are you doing with them? Take inventory for a week, uncover patterns to identify where you are spending those 7 hours. Is it quality time? Is it time with family and friends? Is it running endless errands? Is it time staring at social media and television?
After you’ve taken inventory, start with small changes and repeat. Create a micro habit that can build into a sustainable habit that leads you to achieve big goals.
Sabina Nawaz offers five ways to start a micro-habit:
Identify a “ridiculously small” micro habit – write (paint, walk, play, read) for 15 minutes a day;
Piggyback on a daily task – execute daily so it becomes second nature so tie it to a regular daily task;
Track your progress – try a “yes” list – it takes 20 seconds a day;
Hold steady for a long time – stay small for a few weeks and then increase time spent on your new habit;
Seek help in holding you accountable – do this with a friend and support each other to keep on task.
By changing your perception about time and taking daily action – small steps, the “I’ve always wanted to do this” activity will take precedent over the “I’ll get to it in the fictional future when I have time” excuse.
Feeling stuck, trapped, caught by outside circumstances and other people getting in your way? Look within first and uncover and crush your limiting beliefs. Our answers are within us, so loosen that self-imposed vise grip of limiting beliefs and venture out into becoming who you are meant to be. Start small and go big!