Domino Effect

“Who says you need to wait until you 'feel like' doing something in order to start doing it? The problem, from this perspective, isn't that you don't feel motivated; it's that you imagine you need to feel motivated. If you can regard your thoughts and emotions about whatever you're procrastinating on as passing weather, you'll realise that your reluctance about working isn't something that needs to be eradicated or transformed into positivity. You can coexist with it. You can note the procrastinatory feelings and act anyway.”― Oliver Burkeman, The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can't Stand Positive Thinking

Action begets more action. Reflection woven between brings clarity. Being and doing – both. Habits and rituals drive commitment. Podcasts, reading, writing, inquiry are tools that expand and deepen our understanding, fuel imagination, prompting starting and unfolding. In doing, our gifts are revealed. The only way to arrive is to start and continue. Begin imperfectly today and keep going.

Push one domino and the next one falls. Progress is a cumulation of steps. One domino at a time. Start.

“It is not surprising, then, that though we feel intermittently gifted, our gifts are ever-present. For if enlightenment stems from a clarity of being, then talent is no more than a clarity of doing, an embodied moment where spirit and hand are one. The chief obstacle to talent, then, is lapse of being. It is not that people have no talent, but that they lack the clarity to uncover what it is and how it works.

Talent, it seems, is energy waiting to be released through honest involvement in life. But so many of us check whether we have power with the main switch off – the switch being risk, curiosity, passion, and love.

With this in mind, happiness can simply be described as the satisfaction we feel when we are in ultimate accord, however briefly, in being and doing. In those unified moments, our purpose is life and out talent is living it in its most immediate detail, be it drying the dishes or raking the leaves or washing the baby’s hair.

So when I can’t find my purpose, I beg myself to sit in a field in the sun watching the ants in hopes that I will meet my clarity. When I am convinced I have no gifts at all, I implore myself to search for the switch, to try something out of view, to gamble on what is remotely calling. When I lapse between comets, I try to watch fish swim and hear birds glide while I trudge out of synch. And in a tremor of faith, I know if I don’t try at all, it will all return surely and swiftly as light fills a hole.” – Mark Nepo, The Book of Awakening

Sock Drawer and Beyond

“From the moment you start tidying, you will be compelled to reset your life. As a result, your life will start to change. That’s why the task of putting your house in order should be done quickly.” – Marie Kondo

This week, I have spent 15 minutes each day creating order in one place/space. Under the sink. Paperwork piles filing. And after looking for the sock match one too many times, the sock drawer. Clutter and disorder enter over time, take root and expand both externally and internally. External decluttering is the path to internal decluttering too.

“When your room is clean and uncluttered, you have no choice but to examine your inner state.” — Marie Kondo

When we sort, clear the nonessential, discard and organize, we create space for clarity and discernment to put our attention, energy and focus on what’s truly essential.

“Essentialism is not about how to get more things done; it’s about how to get the right things done. It doesn’t mean just doing less for the sake of less either. It is about making the wisest possible investment of your time and energy in order to operate at our highest point of contribution by doing only what is essential.”― Greg McKeown, Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less

Each day over the next week, work on decluttering one external space and reflect on what needs to be put in order inside too. A minimum of 15 minutes for each activity. 30 minutes per day for 7 days is a minimal investment to impact your outlook and gain new insight into what you want to be essential for you this year.

3 Things List:

1. Clear clutter

2. Create order

3. Spark joy

Start today and keep chipping away. One sock at a time.

“The best way to choose what to keep and what to throw away is to take each item in one’s hand and ask: ‘Does this spark joy?’ If it does, keep it. If not, dispose of it. This is not only the simplest but also the most accurate yardstick by which to judge.”— Marie Kondo

Small Investments. Big Returns.

“Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become. No single instance will transform your beliefs, but as the votes build up, so does the evidence of your new identity.”― James Clear, Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones

As we wrap up the holiday season and mark our almost two-year anniversary of “pandemic” living, pause, reflect and take care of yourself. Fill your well. Play. Read. Relax. Move your bones, every day. Lift your spirit, every day. Laugh, every day. Seek and find joy in ordinary days. It is in our daily commitments and activities we make progress, attain contentment. In daily rituals, we grow, transform and change.

Ditch the temporary excitement of New Year’s Resolutions that flounder and fade by February and start today and each day going forward starting three things and build upon them. Small investments in activities that keep you learning and growing, creating and contributing. Find what fits and continue. Discard what doesn’t fit after trying it for at least three days.

“All big things come from small beginnings. The seed of every habit is a single, tiny decision. But as that decision is repeated, a habit sprouts and grows stronger. Roots entrench themselves and branches grow. The task of breaking a bad habit is like uprooting a powerful oak within us. And the task of building a good habit is like cultivating a delicate flower one day at a time.”― James Clear, Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones

When the pandemic started, I restarted the practice of Morning Pages and haven’t stopped since. Julia Cameron developed the practice of Morning Pages – writing three pages right away when waking. Whatever comes to mind, stream of consciousness without stopping, editing or critiquing – improv on a page, a blank slate. By the time you get to the third page, clarity, connections and patterns begin to emerge. Some days, nothing. Most days, something of value arises in the practice. It’s also the prompt that leads me to my second daily ritual of writing a post a day on my other blog Cast Light.

In the beginning of 2021, I committed to writing daily on Cast Light, without fail. Some days were a struggle and others the words fell on the page. Often not polished, at times random and certainly imperfect. But there’s power in what Seth Godin describes as “shipping the work”  - hitting publish and releasing it into the world. Some posts hit, others fell flat, but no matter what, always shipping the work to get better, to take action, to start and finish to prompt more starting. Also, hopefully adding a healthy dose of optimism, belonging and connection into the world.

My third daily commitment is 10-15 minutes of meditation using the Insight Timer app. Usually music, sometimes prayers or guided meditation. Simple. Accessible. Effective. There’s plenty of research that shows that meditation can sharpen attention, reduce stress, increase compassion, improve mental health and enhance relationships. It helps anchor me in gratitude, joy and optimism.

As I reflect on this year and begin planning for next year (as much as we can plan in year 3 of a pandemic), I am sticking with my current rituals while adding weekly and monthly ones as well. A few that I’ll start with include strength training three times a week, writing articles for Start3Things once a week and reading for longer periods at least four times per week. Three is enough and others can be added when these take root first. When we start new habits, we crowd out the habits that don’t serve us well.

Create your own three daily rituals, add some weekly and monthly activities to mix it up and stick with them. Don’t overthink or contemplate too long. And if/when you miss or fall away, start back up. We all trip, fall and miss the mark. It’s in the starting, in the small investments that we reap the big returns. What resonates will stick with action, repetition and practice.

Small investments. Big returns. Start. 3. Things. Repeat.

“The only choice we have is to begin. And the only place to begin is where we are. Simply begin. But begin.”― Seth Godin, The Practice: Shipping Creative Work

Reflection Time

As we wrap up August and enter the transition to a new season, reflect on what summer gave you and what you gave it. What seeds did you plant? What places did you see? Who did you spend time with? What actions did you take that added or subtracted from your own journey of fruition? Did you make a difference in others lives? Are you growing? What activities do you find flow and ease in? Are you learning and expanding or contracting? What are you grateful for daily?

Each day, each season and cycle, we can begin new again, take inventory, find gaps, fill them, celebrate progress and moving forward imperfectly into our becoming and unfolding.

Ask questions and listen for the answers.

What are your goals and aspirations for the fall?
What’s ready to harvest?
What needs nurturing and time?
What seeds need to be planted?

Get specific, write them down, take them from the abstract to concrete. Break down your desired destination into steps and remember to enjoy the journey along the way too. Life is about being and doing, using all of your talents and gifts and remaining present in each day.

Reflection time prepares us for transition and inspires action for what is next in the journey.

The Path to New Beginnings

“If we don't change, we don't grow. If we don't grow, we aren't really living.” – Gail Sheehy

Bridges’ Transition Model defines three stages that individuals experience during change:

1. Ending What Currently Is

2. The Neutral Zone

3. The New Beginning

Endings

Transition starts with an ending. The first phase begins when we identify what we are losing and how to manage these losses.

Neutral Zone

The next step of transition comes after letting go, the in-between time when the old is gone and the new hasn’t begun yet. This is the space and place where we need to realign, create new patterns and sense of identity. It is core to the transition process. We spend a lot of time in the neutral zone. While it feels like we’re stuck, it is fertile ground that prepares us to move fully into new beginnings. Be patient and keep moving through to get to the third stage.

New Beginnings

Beginnings require a shift in perspective, understanding and attitudes. Releasing the old, we open to the new with a renewed energy that propels us into a new direction with a fresh identity.

“You can’t follow the thread of your life very far before you find “the past” changing. Things that you haven’t remembered in years reappear, and things that you’ve always thought were so turn out to be not so at all. If the past isn’t the way you thought it was, then the present isn’t, either. Letting go of that present may make it easier to conceive of a new future.”― William Bridges, Transitions: Making Sense of Life's Changes

Keep trying new things each day, growing and on the road to new beginnings.

The Balance and Dance of Being and Doing

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.” - Albert Einstein

In between our being and doing, lies the clarity we seek, the purpose each has within, no exceptions. Starting new things, trying each day creates the path to knowing. Quiet contemplation allows for being to do its work, for unknowing to enter. If you’re stuck, start doing. If you’re caught in too much doing, go back to being, to a deeper consciousness, to the longing.

“It is not surprising, then, that though we feel intermittently gifted, our gifts are ever-present. For if enlightenment stems from clarity of being, then talent is no more than a clarity of doing, an embodied moment where spirit and hand are one. The chief obstacle to talent, then, is a lapse in being. It is not that people have no talent, but we lack the clarity to uncover what it is and how it works.

Talent, it seems, is energy waiting to be released through an honest involvement in life. But so many of us check whether we have power with the main switch off-the switch being risk, curiosity, passion, and love.

With this in mind, happiness can simple be described as the satisfaction we feel when we are in ultimate accord, however briefly, in being and doing. In those unified moments, our purpose is life and our talent is living in its most immediate detail, be it drying the dishes or raking the leaves or washing the baby’s hair.

So when I can’t find my purpose, I beg myself to sit in a field in the sun watching ants in hopes that I will meet my clarity. When I am convinced I have no gifts at all, I implore myself to search for the switch, to try something out of view, to gamble on what is remotely calling.” – Mark Nepo, The Book of Awakening

Practice Makes Better and that Darn C Chord

“Don't only practice your art, but force your way into its secrets; art deserves that, for it and knowledge can raise man to the Divine.” – Ludwig van Beethoven

A month ago, I decided it was time to start learning how to play the guitar or stop thinking about starting someday. Someday is now. Practicing daily for 20-40 minutes along with streaming guitar lessons is pushing and pulling me into new unfamiliar territory. It’s not comfortable, but wonderfully satisfying in new and unfamiliar ways.

Steadily building dexterity in my fingers, learning chords, techniques, history of the artform and how to read music. It’s a process and progress comes in small steps. After weeks of practice, my left index finger is finally numbed with a callous from the steel strings. My third finger is learning to land closer to the fret, becoming independent from my hand to operate independently and sometimes in the direction I send it. The C chord continues to be my challenge so I focus each practice session on mastering the movement.

The dogs are now able to sit in a room with me when I’m practicing without howling, gazing at me in dismay or dashing off to another room. It’s coming around and some days are better than others. Slow, hard and rewarding - the ticket to satisfaction.

Do hard things that take time, repetition and effort. Practice makes better not perfect. We need to do more activities that are measured in slow progress rather than the temporary satisfaction from quick and easy results. It’s easy to contemplate starting and hard to keep starting every day imperfectly.

“After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music.” – Aldous Huxley

Practice, repetition of hard things with consistency over time creates rigor, progress and confidence. So much of our days consist of rushed efficient-focused work. Faster, efficient, more with less. Checklist living. Lasting transformation and growth come from doing hard things over time with effort.

It’s time to revisit or release those “things” that you always wanted to do. Start or let it go so you can focus your energy into your purpose and joy. Start and stick with it and see where the road leads.

“The harder you work, the luckier you get.” – Gary Player

Routine into a Route

“If you hear a voice within you say ‘you cannot paint,’ then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced.” – Vincent Van Gogh

After a friend shared one of her guitar performances, I told her that I always wanted to play the guitar. Rather than let the comment slide by or say “it’s too late,” she encouraged me to do it. Author Julia Cameron calls those rare people “believing mirrors” – humans who encourage rather than criticize, build up rather than break down, who anchor in abundance and invite others in. We all need more believing mirrors in our life and to be one as well.

A simple conversation transformed a lingering thought into action.

I asked her for advice on selecting a guitar to take “I’ve always wanted to” to “I am doing it now.” She generously walked me through the process, encouraged and inspired me to buy a guitar from Sweetwater (highly recommend). Within a week, a beautiful “real” guitar arrived at my doorstep. Serendipitously, a few weeks earlier, I received a Great Courses catalog in the mail. All of their courses look interesting and I’ve always wanted to order a few but never did.  One of the four courses that I ordered was on learning the guitar. Perfect timing and the stars aligned. The course format is awesome as the instructor weaves history and story into clear and concise 40 minute lessons – both instructional and inspirational.

For the past few weeks, I have been practicing at least 15-20 minutes each day and leaving space between lessons to comprehend concepts and improve through repetition. My fingertips are sore but are toughening up each day. At first, I didn’t think I would ever get my fingers to move how they should with my left third finger being a bit of a straggler. Rather than giving up, I keep imperfectly and slowly committing time each day to practice, treating it more like a marathon than a sprint. There’s no hurry and the process itself is the gift. Time, repetition and practice work. Each day, I am getting more dexterity in my fingers and seeing slow progress.

“Because when you truly believe your story of practicing, it has the power to turn routine into a route, to resolve your discordant voices, and to transform the harshest, most intense disappointment into the very reason you continue.” – Glenn Kurtz, Practicing: A Musician’s Return to Music

When we tune out dissenting voices - others and our own - and allow our believing mirrors to guide our path and next best step, we discover joy in learning, in the pursuit of doing activities that grow and expand us. There will be naysayers and your own limiting beliefs that will speak up. Let them say their piece and then carry on. The more you do, the quieter they get. Resistance is defeated by action.

Start that activity that you have always wanted to try. Experiment, play and wander. Trust the process of practice, of action to do its work in you. Messy, imperfect, doing and learning. Apply yourself daily, expand and deepen. It is NEVER, EVER, too late.

“I have been impressed with the urgency of doing. Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Being willing is not enough; we must do.” – Leonardo da Vinci

The Answers are within YOU

“From sitting backstage with some of the most brilliant scientists and wise rabble-rousers and calm healers, I can tell you, without a doubt, that everyone has weird neuroses and surprising insecurities, and everyone has moments of befuddlement just about being human. We look to them for answers, but they too are still searching. This realization has ground into me the truth of what has been said across the ages, but somehow we never really believe: that the answers are within you; that you, yourself, are the answer.” - Elizabeth Lesser, Marrow: A Love Story

Now and then, we all need inspiration, a pep-talk to get us out of ruts and self-inflicted mental blocks. Inspiration is good. Starting is better. Rather than overthinking options and underestimating yourself, do the work, take small actions daily to figure out the path by walking it out. Consistent actions strung together builds confidence, breaks old patterns and creates new connections.

At the beginning of the year, I started writing posts every day on Cast-Light. While not all posts are perfect, spending one hour each morning writing morning pages, meditating and posting consistently has created a daily practice, ritual and rigor. Progress comes one step at a time.

Author Anne Lamott was on Cathy Heller’s Don’t Keep Your Day Job podcast and shared valuable insights from her new book on hope, Dusk, Night, Dawn: On Revival and Courage:

1. “Be available for any idea, be permeable and be curious about all of life.

2. Take the action. The insight will follow.

3. Don’t try to figure it out. Let the thing inside of you help you get it done.

4. One of the keys to the kingdom of inside reserves of new material and insight and awakening is, “I don't know.”

5. Create what you'd love to come upon. It tells you that something deep in your soul is trying to get your attention.

6. Start where you are. Break through perfectionism by doing it badly more often.

7. The point is not to try harder. The point is to resist less.

8. There is only now. There is only the Holy moment. So do it today.”

The process is the point, the journey. Wander, wonder, practice and try new things daily to expand your perspective and deepen your resolve to keep becoming your most authentic self. The answers are within you so start asking the questions.

“Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.” - Arthur Ashe

3 Doable Practices to Gain Clarity, Foster Connection and Get Direction to Discover Your “Thing(s)”

People often say what they “are not” rather than what they “are.” I’m not creative. I’m not artistic. I’m not good at this or that. It’s too easy to fill in this blank. Three simple practices can change your focus to possibility rather than lack. These “doable” practices have worked for four decades for author and teacher Julia Cameron, who just published her 40th book The Listening Path: The Creative Art of Attention.

Writing helps order thoughts, find patterns and gain clarity. Julia Cameron has been a proponent and practitioner of Morning Pages which has resulted in a rich and deep portfolio of work with thousands of students who have followed in her path.

“Writing is a form of active listening. Listening tells me what to write. At its best, writing is like taking dictation. There is an inner voice – that voice speaks to us when we listen. It is clear, calm, and guided. It is surefooted, putting one word after another, unspooling the thread that is our train of thought… When we listen, we are led spiritually. Listening for our emerging truth, we become increasingly true to ourselves. Honesty becomes our currency. We are given a glimpse of our souls,” she states.

The daily practice of Morning Pages is simply writing three pages every morning upon waking before the mind wanders off into busyness of the day. According to Jungians, we have a 45-minute window to get to our “undefended self” before our ego’s defenses kick into frame and limit our day.

The simple rules are that they need to be done upon waking, they are handwritten and no stopping, editing or judgment for three full pages. Releasing and surrendering any and all thoughts about anything, everything and nothing. The act of writing them is the point, requiring us to get out of our own way as the proven process unfolds.

After two to three weeks, Morning Pages take hold, make sense and the benefits become apparent. Over the years, I’ve dabbled in the practice inconsistently. For the past year, the practice has become a daily non-negotiable ritual, paying back big dividends in all areas of my life – work, relationships, creative endeavors, in understanding of self and others.

“Morning pages are like a little whisk broom that you poke into all corners of your consciousness…In the pages there is no room for evasion…Pages nudge us toward action. Something that seem ‘good enough’ no longer seems that way. We admit we may deserve better, and then we admit our own inertia: our regrettable tendency to settle, which we have now outgrown. Pages are a form of meditation,” she says. In addition to Morning Pages, I have been using the Insight Timer meditation app every morning for the past 180 days. Both practices have provided a depth, breadth as well as energy and flow.

“Writing morning pages is like driving with the high beams on: we ‘see’ ahead of ourselves, farther and more clearly than our normal low-beam vision…Although pages can be about anything and everything, gratitude is fertile ground. Counting our blessings on the page makes room for more gratitude… All lives contain grounds for gratitude. Focusing on the positive breeds optimism. Optimism is a primary fruit of the listening path…Morning Pages lay out my day’s trajectory… We spend our time on our own agendas – no longer on the agendas of others. We are often stunned to discover the amount of time and attention we have spent ‘people-pleasing’ others. As we withdraw our energies back into our own core, we are shocked by the power that is suddenly ours to do with as we please. Many of us have spent our lives being batteries for others. Suddenly, with pages in place, our dreams are within our reach. As we take each small step that the pages indicate, our dreams become our reality,” Cameron states.

As a recovering “people pleaser,” I can attest to the power that Morning Pages has infused into my days. It’s measurable and palpable.

“The listening path requires attention. Our dreams are often soft-spoken. As we listen to their whispered voice, our hearing becomes more acute. Our daily pages tutor us in the art of attention. As we listen to each thought as it unspools, we come to trust our own perceptions. Each word marks a point of consciousness. Taken collectively, the words are jotting of our souls. As we attend to their unfurling, we pay attention to the narrative of our lives. Far from colorless, our stories are multicolored, rich in their patterns. As we heed our dreams, more dreams unfold for us. Examining our lives, we find our lives to be worth examining…With our heightened intuition, we often sense the shape of things that are to come…Our gifts are many, and often unsuspected,” she continues.

This week, I am beginning Week 1 of her 6-week program laid out in this book. “It is my conviction that pages function as what I call ‘believing mirrors.’ They reflect back to us belief in our potential. They are optimistic and positive. They believe in our strength, not our weakness. Every artist needs believing mirrors – not only the pages, but people as well.” Who are your believing mirrors? Are you a believing mirror for others?

The second practice that Cameron follows is “The Artist Date” – a once weekly solo expedition for one to two hours to explore and simply experience play. Artist Date ideas to prompt thinking on your own adventure include going to a children’s bookstore, a pet shop, a movie, the zoo. The purpose of the Artist Date is to replenish the well.

“With Morning Pages, you are ‘sending.’ With Artist Dates you have flipped the dial over to “receive.” It is as though you are constructing a spiritual radio kit. You need both tools for it to work properly…Creativity experts teach that breakthroughs are the payoff of a two-part process: concentrate and then release. With Morning Pages, we are concentrating, focusing our attention on the problem at hand. With the Artist Dates, we practice release, and our mind fills with new ideas. It takes ‘letting go’ for the process to work,” she states.

The third tool to pave the “listening path” is walking.  Awakening our senses, walking anchors us in the present while working both our body and mind. “Walking, we are attuned to the rhythm of our thoughts. We hear the words and the emotion behind the words. We become intimate. It is difficult to lie, walking. Each footfall engages our attention. Each footfall engages our breath. We find ourselves saying the unsayable. We listen as we talk,” she says.

Morning Pages, Artists Dates and walking work together to help you gain insight and clarity to what is already within you waiting to rise to the surface. A whisper to heed. Dare to say “yes” to your becoming and fruition. The listening path is calling you. Start tomorrow, no looking back.

Use Mental Models to Frame a New Reality

“Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become. No single instance will transform your beliefs, but as the votes build up, so does the evidence of your new identity.” ― James Clear, Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones

With the myriad of choices available, mental models help frame thinking to make better decisions and to prompt action. James Clear narrowed down the top mental models from over 1000 mental models. Other valuable resources to help you explore mental models include:

https://nesslabs.com/mental-models

https://www.julian.com/blog/mental-model-examples

https://www.tudorcodes.com/blog/5-books-about-mental-models-worth-your-time/

What limiting beliefs and narratives are preventing you from starting? Consider how mental models can help you jumpstart action to make progress on your goals.

“All big things come from small beginnings. The seed of every habit is a single, tiny decision. But as that decision is repeated, a habit sprouts and grows stronger. Roots entrench themselves and branches grow. The task of breaking a bad habit is like uprooting a powerful oak within us. And the task of building a good habit is like cultivating a delicate flower one day at a time.”― James Clear

Ask, Listen, Understand

“Listening is an activity. It's not passive. We are creating the world by listening all the time.” – Julian Treasure

It is a busy, noisy world – within and without. Searching for clarity, focus and answers in circumstances, other people and “someday” destinations, we come up empty again and again, pivoting to the next scheme, shortcut or workaround with a continued external focus.

By adding more to the overflowing piles of starts and stops, we blur and block any chance for clarity of thought and simplicity of direction, our true north. The answers and insights that we seek externally are actually rooted within, in our own intuition, dreams and inklings.

Pause daily, take inventory and create order from what already exists. Start from where you are right now and move forward, a step at a time. Ask questions and wait quietly and openly for answers to enter. Invite them in, seek understanding through inquiry.

The concept of appreciative inquiry was developed by David Cooperrider and Suresh Srivastav in the early 1990’s. The five original principles include:

1. Constructionist: WORDS CREATE WORLDS

2. Simultaneity: INQUIRY CREATES CHANGE

3. Poetic: WE CAN CHOOSE WHAT WE STUDY

4. Anticipatory: IMAGE INSPIRES ACTION

5. Positive: POSITIVE QUESTIONS LEAD TO POSITIVE CHANGE

Through the years, additional principles have emerged including:

1. Wholeness: WHOLENESS BRINGS OUT THE BEST

2. Enactment: ACTING ‘AS IF” IS SELF-FULFILLING

3. Free choice: FREE CHOICE LIBERATES POWER

4. Narrative: STORIES ARE TRANSFORMATIVE

5. Awareness: BE CONSCIOUS OF UNDERLYING ASSUMPTIONS

By employing appreciate inquiry principles along with active listening, the right actions become apparent and clarity unfolds naturally. Clarity coming from asking and action, from finding out what works and what doesn’t work through implementation and execution.

Birgit Ohlin, MA, BBA, Coach offers six tips for active listening that are valuable to listening to others as well as yourself: 

1. Nonverbal involvement – eye contact, nodding head;

2. Pay attention to the speaker, not your own thoughts;

3. Practice Non-Judgment;

4. Tolerate silence;

5. Paraphrase;

6. Ask questions

Julian Treasure’s 5 Ways to Listen Better Ted Talk offers simple exercises to improve conscious listening by paying attention to the quiet, the subtle and understated to access understanding:

1. Silence - just three minutes a day is a wonderful exercise to reset your ears and to recalibrate, so that you can hear the quiet again;

2. "The mixer” - listen to how many individual channels of sound can that you can hear. It's a improves the quality of your listening;

3. Savoring – enjoy mundane sounds and find the "hidden choir" that’s around us all the time.

4. Listening position – play with filters as levers to get conscious. Filters include active/passive; reductive/expansive; critical/empathetic;

5. RASA – receive, appreciate, summarize and ask

Weave quiet into each day, ask questions to foster clarity and insight to inform meaningful action that creates progress.

“When you quiet your mind, you can enter a world of clarity, peace and understanding.” – Alice Coltrane

21 Lessons from 31 Days of Practice

“Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself, and know that everything in life has purpose. There are no mistakes, no coincidences, all events are blessings given to us to learn from.” – Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

At the beginning of January, I committed to write every day for Cast-Light. I’ve done a 30-day streak in the past and then dropped back into inconsistent posts two to three times a week when the “feeling” hit. If we base our practices on feelings, progress will be sporadic at best.

After completing a full month of daily writing in January, I intend to go beyond “challenge” mode into committing to a daily practice of writing and “shipping” the work. Over the last 31 days, I’ve learned some lessons that come only from doing, not thinking about doing.

1. Choose a few daily commitments, follow through and make them non-negotiable activities;

2. Find the optimal time to do the work that matters first. For me, morning is my best time to write before the day’s activities take over;

3. Some posts were good, some were forced and some needed more time to percolate, but the goal was to launch each day. Perfect repetition, imperfect posts;

4. In The Practice, Shipping Creative Work, Seth Godin notes that doing the work daily, executing imperfectly is the key to success;

5. To get started each morning, Julia Cameron’s morning pages method of 3 pages of free flow journal writing with no boundaries or rules laid the groundwork for writing, the pre-work that led to the first draft and then evolve to launched posts;

6. Meditation focuses energy and guides direction – after 10 minutes of morning pages, I added a minimum of 10 minutes of meditation and mindfulness time using the Insight Timer app;

7. Allow first drafts to fill the blank page without editing or judgment. Flowing thoughts that turn to words on blank pages are the formula of first drafts. Revisit, weave, find connections and strengthen transitions to publishable content;

8. Acknowledge and overcome the “lizard brain” of fight/flight. “The lizard brain is not merely a concept. It's real, and it's living on the top of your spine, fighting for your survival. But, of course, survival and success are not the same thing. The lizard brain is the reason you're afraid, the reason you don't do all the art you can, the reason you don't ship when you can. The lizard brain is the source of the resistance,” Seth Godin;

9. Fear of starting dissipates by starting. Final “shippable” work always starts with a messy first draft that evolves into final content;

10. Resistance is a guarantee. Starting for at least 5 minutes daily overcomes resistance. 5 minutes become 10, 20 and 30 minutes without notice;

11. Start where you are in the moment. Nothing before, nothing after, lost in the moment, unaware of time;

12. Go between spectator observation and participant immersion, broad and narrow;

13. Remember to play to restore with time away from work and activity – get out in nature, go for a run, let things settle;

14. Keep a notebook with you at all times and write down thoughts as they come, don’t put it off, capture it in the moment;

15. Read daily to expand perspective, deepen connections and broaden insight;

16. Practice gratitude to move forward from a place of abundance, not scarcity;

17. Stuck? Take a break and return after a few minutes away;

18. Take time to reflect to look for lessons;

19. Clarity unfolds with action. As you step out, the path begins to unfold;

20. Use quotes to prompt new ideas and inspire a fresh outlook;

21. Confidence increases and fear decreases with consistent daily practice.

Lessons and insights are found through action, habits, structure and play. More imperfect doing, less perfect thinking about doing.

“It is not knowledge, but the act of learning, not possession but the act of getting there, which grants the greatest enjoyment.” -Carl Friedrich Gauss

Flourishing

“Resilience is all about being able to overcome the unexpected. Sustainability is about survival. The goal of resilience is to thrive.” – Jamais Cascio

In a meeting this week, a colleague/friend introduced herself to the group and said she was in the business of “human flourishing.” It was so inspirational and aspirational, I wrote it down as a prompt. It has stuck with me as a lot of seismic changes and shifts are unfolding professionally, in society and the world. What if we were all in the business of “human flourishing,” starting with ourselves first and then moving outward from that center?

Positive psychologist and professor Dr. Lynn Soots (n.d.) describes flourishing as the following:

“Flourishing is the product of the pursuit and engagement of an authentic life that brings inner joy and happiness through meeting goals, being connected with life passions, and relishing in accomplishments through the peaks and valleys of life.”

In an article on PositivePsychology.com, Courtney E. Ackerman offers components and practical tips on how to move toward flourishing. “Most psychologists agree that flourishing encompasses well-being, happiness, and life satisfaction; however, even these components of flourishing have their own subcomponents, including:

• Meaning

• Purpose

• Autonomy

• Self-acceptance

• Optimism

• Positive relationships

• Mastery

• Self-determination

• Resilience

• Personal growth

• Vitality

• Engagement

• Self-esteem (VanderWeele, 2017)

The idea of measuring flourishing becomes more unwieldy with each addition to the list—and we’re not done yet!”

Research shows that the impact of flourishing includes:

• Fewer missed days of works

• Fewer half-days and work cutbacks

• Lower helplessness

• More clear life goals

• Higher resilience

• Higher intimacy

• Lower risk of cardiovascular disease

• Lower number of chronic physical diseases with age

• Fewer health limitations of daily living activities

• Lower health care utilization (Keyes, 2007)

To improve your chances of flourishing, she offers the following suggestions:

1. Expand and enhance your social support system-make new friends and deepen relationships. This is harder and more important as we approach our one-year anniversary of “pandemic living.” Reach out – call, text, email and don’t stop;

2. Experience the good in life with fun, meaningful events. Establish goals and measurements for progress;

3. Schedule “fun” into each day. This will be the most important daily activity that you can add to your calendar;

4. Pursue purpose and meaning, followed by specific actions to achieve them.

There are five key qualities to achieve flourishing:

1. Attention: Enhance your ability to direct and re-direct your attention. A morning meditation practice can do wonders to tone your attention muscles and set the course for the day. Mindfulness creates the space needed for reflection, perspective and self-awareness;

2. Time Management: Choose carefully where you invest your finite valuable time. Say “no” more so you can say “yes” to the right things;

3. Continuous Improvement: Commit to growth by staying open, seeking knowledge and insight followed by application;

4. Active Listening: Give others and yourself undivided attention, listening rather than passive hearing. Commit to communicate honestly, empathetically, respectfully and openly;

5. Positive Experiences: – pursue, seek positive experiences daily. You find what you are looking for so search for the positive rather than default to the negative. Suddenly, you will find joy in plain sight.

If your 2021 resolutions are falling flat and your short on motivation, take a step back. Reassess and recommit to daily activities that move you in the direction of flourishing, a worthy lifelong pursuit.

“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.” – Maya Angelou

The Power of Habits, Rituals and Wandering

“Many people think they lack motivation when what they really lack is clarity.” – James Clear, Atomic Habits

January starts the annual rite of resolution-making. Get healthy, go to the gym, take up a new hobby, etc. We get fired up and go with a vengeance, fast, furious in full throttle mode. Enthusiasm and energy at an all-time high. By late January, we’re exhausted, start to dial back our trips to the gym, eat the bag of chips and our habits and intentions unravel one inaction at a time.

The month is young so there’s still time to get this year’s resolutions off your list next year. A few adjustments now can be the difference between success and disappointment.

1. Create daily rituals to focus your attention, intentions and energy to follow through with action. A few habits that have made a big difference are starting the morning slowly. As soon as I wake up, I make a cup of coffee and write in my journal using Julia Cameron’s Morning Pages technique. Writing three pages long hand, no editing, whatever comes to mind. This practice allows subconscious thoughts to rise to the surface before they get buried in the busyness of the day. It often is random and usually exposes the root of things that have been weighing on my mind, helps me solve a problem and releases new ideas. No rules, just free-flow writing allowing whatever comes to mind to land on paper. This writing is not meant to be shared with anyone. It’s a technique to unravel your thoughts, roadblocks and ideas. However, it often is the basis for articles on Cast-Light and Start3Things. Try it for one month without missing a day and I promise this habit will stick and be the foundation for other habits forming.

2. Julia Cameron’s other technique is the artists date where you go somewhere by yourself once a week to change up the scenery, discover patterns, create new connections, found in the action of wandering with no particular destination.

3. Meditation using the Insight Timer app grounds each day to focus effort and attention. Music, guided meditation for 10 minutes gets the day going in the right direction.

4. Before making resolutions, be clear on the reason why you want to lose weight. To play with your kids? To run a 5k in March? To have more energy? Specificity and emotional connection will both inspire and motivate you beyond the initial pain of building muscle and necessary repetition to make real change last.

5. Accountability – have a daily plan and check it off when you are done to create the cadence and record progress. Celebrate daily wins of repetition and discipline.

6. Give up the long undoable list of annual resolutions and roll them out through the year as you make progress and complete a few. Each accomplishment builds confidence and leads to the next success.

7. Be specific in your actions and break down big goals into small steps daily to get to the finish line, not in January but by March. Things that are meaningful and lasting, take time, consistent effort and small steps to sustainable results.

James Clear, author of Atomic Habits notes that tiny changes transform into sustainable behavior. Repetition creates progress. Habits begin with a trigger to act so make it easy to follow through by using cues. If you are working out in the morning, put your work out clothes out the night before. Don’t over think it, just start before you talk yourself out of it. Don’t allow feelings to stop you from starting. Do it, especially if you don’t feel like it. Reward yourself when you complete the task. Tracking and celebrating will lead to success so when January, 2022 comes, the resolutions on your list are different than this year because you’ve accomplished them.

Happy New Year and New Day! Stick to it and always choose action over perfection. Start3Things!

“What we really want to do is what we are really meant to do. When we do what we are meant to do, money comes to us, doors open for us, we feel useful, and the work we do feels like play to us.” - Julia Cameron

Class is Always in Session, Learning is Optional

“All big things come from small beginnings. The seed of every habit is a single, tiny decision. But as that decision is repeated, a habit sprouts and grows stronger. Roots entrench themselves and branches grow. The task of breaking a bad habit is like uprooting a powerful oak within us. And the task of building a good habit is like cultivating a delicate flower one day at a time.”― James Clear, Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones

As we start the annual ritual of New Year’s resolutions, determine if your resolution is important enough that you will create daily rituals, routines and habits to follow through on commitments. If not, choose one or two that are “doable” over the long haul and don’t fall for the usual “get rich quick” schemes. Lay out a daily time-bound plan with specific steps that are measurable.

For the world, 2020 was filled with unprecedented challenges, progress amidst ongoing uncertainty and small victories through adversity. A year ago, we were planning for a year better than the one before. Our plans came to a grinding halt in February with the spread of COVID-19. While uncertainty and fear made it difficult, we were offered ample time to reflect, change and learn. We still have time so let’s get started.

As this year slowly unfolded, we discovered what’s really important including the need for human connection, gratitude, empathy and resilience. If 2020 showed us anything, it is our innate capacity to shift, adjust and adapt. It’s not the year we planned, but it’s the one we got so how will you apply lessons learned in 2021?

In March, I started and stuck with daily journaling and meditation which made each day more intentional and anchored. Both activities are a form of self-reflection that foster and enhance our ability to learn. Small steps executed consistently pave the path to goals fulfilled. Atomic Habits author James Clear, states that “You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.”

In my writing practice this year, I’ve learned the value of iterations, first drafts that lead to final versions followed by execution. Starting requires us to be imperfect, incomplete and unfinished. Through the process of action, the work moves us into new directions and the destination appears as we make our way down the path. When we do the work, the outcome takes care of itself.

Experiments, iterations and failures all lead to sustainable and creative solutions. We need to execute, learn, re-execute, apply, learn again. Rarely do we arrive to meaningful destinations without roadblocks, detours and getting lost along the way. The line from point A to point B is usually circular, winding and spiraling.

“Our ability to make the most out of uncertainty is what creates the most potential value. We should be fueled not by a desire for a quick catharsis but by intrigue. Where certainty ends, progress begins.”― Ozan Varol, Think Like a Rocket Scientist.

Uncertainty is where discovery and creativity unfold. Former rocket scientist, Varol offers strategies to think like a scientist:

1. Changing your attitude toward uncertainty opens you up to discovery. Scientists don’t fear uncertainty, they thrive on it to create new possibilities. The COVID-19 vaccine development in record time (months rather than years!) this year shows the power of exploration, iterations and experimentation. We can apply this concept in our daily lives as well.

2. The best way to innovate is to stop conforming. Habits and rituals have their place in creating discipline and progress. We can operationalize activities that serve us well in addition to innovating with a “playground” curiosity mindset. No rules.

3. Productivity is the enemy of original thought.

4. Your mind is your biggest obstacle between you and your goal. We need to balance between convergent and divergent thinking. Lots of ideas, start to converge them into a new configuration and take action. When fresh thinking and ideas are needed, go wide with divergence, wander freely and gather without judgment.

5. To get the best solution, ask the right question.

6. Overcome your blind spots. Confirmation bias has us looking for information that affirms and supports our view. When we ask, “what am I missing?” and actively seek the answer, we find our blind spots. Work to disprove your hypothesis to get to the truth.

7. The best way to be successful is to test rigorously.

8. Study failures to learn from them.

Historian Daniel J. Boorstin writes, “The great obstacle to discovering was not ignorance but the illusion of knowledge.”

As the year winds down, take time to reflect deeply on what you learned, unlearn what’s holding you back and get ready to apply lessons to create the future that you aspire to and are willing to work for. Class is always in session, learning is optional.

The Critic and the Creative

“You can’t use up creativity. The more you use, the more you have.” – Maya Angelou

The critic and the creative co-exist within each of us. We give too much credence to the critic, drowning out the voice and the call of the creative. Bound up and tangled in old narratives of “not good enough” and “unworthiness,” the critic stops us before we dare to start. Ignore the critic – both the internal and external ones. Create, execute, deliver.

We make the creative process unattainable by making it illusive and magical, requiring inspiration before starting. Daily work, repetition and practice are the required ingredients. Inspiration is a byproduct of the work rather than the fuel. Start and the inspiration will follow where first drafts make their way to final work ready to be released and set free.

“If we condition ourselves to work without flow, it’s more likely to arrive. It all comes back to trusting our self to create the change we seek. We don’t agree to do that after flow arrives. We do the work, whether we feel like it or not, and then, without warning, flow can arise. Flow is a symptom of the work we’re doing, not the cause of it,” states Seth Godin in his new book, The Practice: Shipping Creative Work. He continues, “The time we spend worrying is actually time we’re spending trying to control something that is out of our control. Time invested in something that is within our control is called work. That’s where our most productive focus lies. The practice requires a commitment to a series of steps, not a miracle. We don’t ship the work because we’re creative. We’re creative because we ship the work.”

Each day, we need to do the work by putting in time with a commitment to habits and rituals. “It’s vital to establish some rituals – automatic but decisive patterns of behavior – at the beginning of the creative process, when you are most at peril of turning back, chickening out, giving up, or going the wrong way.” – Twyla Tharp, The Creative Habit: Learn It and Use It for Life.

“Creators create. Action is identity. You become what you do. You don’t need permission from anybody to call yourself a writer, entrepreneur, or musician. You just need to write, build a business, or make music. You’ve got to do the verb to be the noun,” states Chase Jarvis, author of Creative Calling. He continues, “Fear is a gift, a precious instinct. Your primitive “reptile brain” is there to protect you and keep you alive. You can’t reason with it; it learns through action. But if you take action despite the fear and survive, it learns a tiny lesson. Over time, action by action, the volume of the negative voice goes down.”

Outline a plan this week. Put an hour on the calendar to start, to create the framework, the habits and rituals to start creating. Allow the process and work to unfold and guide you to the next step. Dwell in possibility and start again and again.

“Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.” – Arthur Ashe