Increasing work demands, family commitments and now the onset of the holiday season are all valid excuses why we don’t pay attention to our own development and passions. In our relentless efforts to keep others happy, pay the bills and do “more with less,” our days quickly become a series of transactions and checklists with little room for transformational living.
If we pursued our purpose with the rigor that we do our “to do” lists, we would be fulfilling our dreams and enjoying each day in the process of our own becoming. When we are personally fulfilled, we are increase our capacity to serve others and our ongoing commitments with sustained joy and vibrancy.
As the flight attendant says during the safety demonstration before taking off, “put on your own mask first before assisting others.” Good advice.
Let’s take flight on your journey to yourself with some self-motivation tips.
Intrinsic motivation is driven by internal rewards while extrinsic motivation by external rewards – a paycheck, approval of others or praise. In Drive, Daniel Pink offers some strategies for awakening your intrinsic motivation:
Give Yourself a “Flow Test” – In Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi defines flow as a state of concentration or absorption in an activity and nothing else seems to matter. It’s when we lose track of time and get into the groove. This is the optimal state of intrinsic motivation. One way to measure flow is to set a random reminder on your phone five to six times per day to write down what you’re doing and how it makes you feel to determine if you are in a state of flow. Being intentional about creating more flow experiences will focus your energy and effort to more satisfying activities between daily obligations. To enter “the zone,” we need space and time pockets to explore and wander.
First, Ask a Big Question – what’s your sentence? What will you be remembered for? For Abraham Lincoln, his sentence was “he preserved the union and freed the slaves.” While your sentence may not be as immense and historically significant, it’s important to succinctly define how you will spend your time and talent. Think about your sentence.
Keep Asking a Small Question – At the end of each day, ask yourself if you were better today than yesterday. Progress comes from small daily improvements.
Give Yourself a Performance Review – Define your goals and do a monthly check in to see if you are improving your performance and achieving mastery.
Get Unstuck by Going Oblique – Brian Eno and Peter Schmidt created 100 cards with questions or statements to get out of mental ruts.
Move Five Steps Closer to Mastery – “Get outside your comfort zone but do it in a focused way, with clear goals, a plan for reaching those goals, and a way to monitor your progress. Oh, and figure out a way to maintain your motivation.” ― Anders Ericsson, Peak: Secrets from the New Science of Expertise “The main thing that sets experts apart from the rest of us is that their years of practice have changed the neural circuitry in their brains to produce highly specialized mental representations, which in turn make possible the incredible memory, pattern recognition, problem solving, and other sorts of advanced abilities needed to excel in their particular specialties.”
Pursuing flow activities, daily practice to foster improvement, awareness of how we spend time as well as asking and answering big and small questions all contribute to a well-rounded life where we are meeting commitments to others and fulfilling our own purpose in the process.