When I was in grade school, I’d sit in the back of class, head down, avoiding eye contact so the teacher wouldn’t call on me. This stemmed from being an introvert, fear of being wrong and embarrassed in front of others. We carry those old stories and triggers into adulthood. The good news is that we can redirect those old stories to create new ones that serve us better.
Worrying about what other people think, making mistakes and being embarrassed all prevent us from trying, exploring and growing. Doing new things and revisiting old things we’ve enjoyed are great ways to write a new narrative.
Over the holidays, I dusted off and pulled out my cross-country skis. I fell in love with it all over again. I am not as fast as other skiers out there, but I don’t care. I am doing the activity for the sheer joy of it, not for comparison. Staying active through winter makes it much more enjoyable. I look forward to a good snow to get a good glide on.
The past six months, I’ve been working with a strength trainer virtually. In December, she invited me to join the January in-person strength training program. I jumped in and signed up. Signing up is one thing, showing up is another.
When the first day of class arrived, I felt a bit of dread driving to the club, realizing that I would be working out in front of others. Flashback to grade school, getting called on and not keeping up. I arrived early and promptly moved to the back of the class to ensure I was not seen.
The demotivational speaker and inner critic in my head has several seemingly rational reasons that I shouldn’t be there. “You’re 20 years older than everyone else. You won’t keep up. It’s beyond your grasp.” The only way we silence our inner critic is doing it afraid.
The biggest surprise came after I showed up and did the class. I realized that the last six months of strength training has actually worked. Two weeks in and I look forward to going to class to challenge myself and get stronger. When we get past that first “scary” step, the next steps unfold before us and rather than pushing, we get pulled forward.
This past week, I signed up for and attended my favorite podcaster Cathy Heller’s Facebook Live 2020 Vision 5-night series. Like skiing and strength training, it’s been energizing to go “back to school,” learn new concepts, challenge my assumptions and stretch my imagination. Saying “yes” to new things becomes easier the more we do it.
And this time at “school,” I’m sitting in the front row, raising my hand high and calling on myself to keep moving, trying and growing. Confidence comes from action. Small steps each day paving the path to the finish line. Start 3 things today.
Get in the front row, raise your hand and start calling on yourself. Class in in session.